Well, it's August. This month seemed so far away in April when I left DC, but as I rightfully suspected, it has snuck up on me as another Buffalo-DC-Spain--err, whereever I was this summer has flow by.
August: time to get down to the dirty, cram any Spanish I can in my head, get to all my doctor's appointments and get my shots in, stock up on enough vitamins and iodine tablets to keep my body and water health for at least a few months, FINALLY have my graduation party, train a new puppy, work, babysit, see the occasional friend, get a few pairs of jeans and some basic clothing, become extremely anxious, freak out at people, cry, freak out again, scream something about hating the States while drunkenly throwing my blackberry at a wall (xxoo gabs and becca!), get it all out, and get on an 8 hr flight to Quito anyway....you see why I might be kinda crazed in the next 17 days?
17 days. WOW. In 17 days I will be so far from DC, so far from Buffalo, so far from the States I won't know what to do with myself. I'm picturing myself in my new situation: I'll be anxious and nervous I'm offending someone; I'll stumble through sentences in Spanish and hope that someone understands me, I'll feel guilty about having any excessive comforts: vitamins, iodine supplements, clif bars, cipero (all are really for my own good if you know my insides!) But to have these things so convenient to me while I serve people who don't even consider any of these things necessary is strange to me. Does that make sense? Let's not talk about my Ipod which may or may not be coming down with Forrest Gump and/or Muppets Christmas Carol (favorite movies...ever!). Maybe I'll come to terms with this huge wealthy discrepancy, but I really don't think I will. I've been told to accept it, and love anyway. 'This is what I know and that is what they know' kinda deal. I hope I have that strength somewhere inside. But in this case, "A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water." Eleanor knew all about hot water: war, economic depression, having a lying/cheating husband with a chronic illness, and wearing a smile through it all? Now there's conviction, passion, and a love for something bigger than herself.
So that's where I am right now. I have butterflies and complete confidence; ignorance and openness. We'll see where my unsettled mind and heart are as time progresses. As the great George Michael one said, "I gotta have faith, faith, faith."
I've always considered you one of the strongest females I know.
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