I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve last sat down and typed something up. I think I’ve been too busy with this thing called life, or work, or a version of it to take time out from it…sounds all too familiar. Things have been nothing short of crazy. My many apologies for going through the motions without taking 10 minutes to understand and share something concrete, something real, with myself and the world. Here we go again…
Since I have no internet and can’t actually remember when or about what I wrote last, I’ll go off of what I want to. So November is over and it is now December…holy moly, did that actually happen? November was good to me—I was healthy, busy, and I think I might have gone ziplining in Mindo at some point. It was cool, check out my facebook for some pictures, particularly the one of me upside down ziplining. It looks wildly inappropriate, but it was a bit of a rush being that high up over nothing but trees on a rope. On one of my zips, I was being a wise allac and decided to flip upside down on my own. It was all good fun until my jeans got caught in the pulley and I slowed down. Luckily I made it to the other side. It was a long zip!
Oh yeah, I also turned 24 in November, which was a lot of fun. My birthday was on a Wednesday so since I didn’t want to go out, we got a bunch of wine, crackers, cheese, and chocolate (all of my favorite vices) and got dressed up, had a fire, and relaxed. It was really enjoyable and I think was the first time I started to feel really comfortable with the people I am volunteering with. Not that I didn’t before, but it takes me a bit to really warm up to people. I still haven’t been able to pin down why this is, but I think I just like to listen people talk about themselves and their lives before I share too much about mine. That sounds ridiculous, and it is, but that’s the way it is I guess. I will say that I was up til 3am with one of the volunteers finishing the wine and whatever we could find in the house. It felt good to just talk to someone about whatever we felt like. Needless to say, the next day I was exhausted, but was pleasantly surprised when my special ed class surprised me with a party—cake, chips, soda, it was cute. They all individually gave me a hug and wished me many more years, and Alex, my challenge, also expressed his gratitude for my patience and for working with him. That never gets old.
24. It’s crazy to swallow. It’s funny, you know. When I was little, or even a few years ago, I had so many dreams and plans for 24. I think I was supposed to be engaged or working in some high powered job in some big city. I was supposed to have it all. The funny thing is that I do, it’s just none of that. I think I came out with the better end of the deal. I think at some point I realized it wasn’t what I wanted for my life so I needed to change that. And here we are.
In that same understanding, I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like if I had never left. I’m so happy here, I just wonder if I will find this same happiness outside of the center. That has really been scaring me a lot lately—finding happiness outside of the unconditional love of these kids, the cookie things that happen on a daily basis, a constant and deeper appreciation and understanding of self and circumstance based on my surroundings. In the same vain, it makes me terrified to come back to the states, to buffalo, to dc, to anywhere where I am not constantly challenged as I am here. I suppose challenge comes for a variety of places, people, circumstance, happenstance, job, family, friends, etc., I’ve just never know the same type of challenge anywhere else and I’d hate to lose touch of such a deeper part of me by being a robot in some dead end job stuck in the same place. It seems like the trick is finding the challenge and holding onto it until a new one comes along…I’m just waiting for some revelation that points me in the right direction.
So back to concrete and real things…that’s the point of this, isn’t it?
December has been an absolute bang so far: Fiestas of Quito, the Center’s birthday, bull fight, soccer game, summiting a 15000ft volcano in the rain…it was all very Latin American. I’m trying to put it all together in my head, so here I’ll give it a go.
Friday of the Fiestas, Dec 2, I think I went out for a bit, decided around 1230 once I was out that I didn’t want to do the same thing in the same place for the millionth time in a row (watching people smoke hookah for a while, drinking $2 mojitoes, going to the same club to dance, avoiding others because they’ve been soured by others, lord), and went home early with David. Unfortunately, since everyone and their mother was out, it was hard getting a cab home cheap. I think we ended up paying 7 which by Quito standards is pricy. Same cab home in dc? About 35 bones I would say.
Saturday we went to the bullfight around noon which was fun—they don’t kill the bull in Ecuador, so it was interesting, but my second bullfight of the year nonetheless. Never thought I would say that! One in Madrid and one in Quito—that’s absurd! Anyway, the sangria was cheap and the weather was good, so I couldn’t ask for much more. It was interesting to note the wealth discrepancy from our kids to the people with their Panama hats, sweaters tied over their shoulders…it was the Ecuadorian Kentucky Derby, but since these things happen so infrequently anymore, its hard get on anyone’s case…it was a special occasion!! In the afternoon me and a handful of the other volunteers went to La Marin to decorate for the Center’s birthday that following Monday. It was fun, a bit tiring after the sangria, but nothing a 1.50 sandwich didn’t cure. I stayed in that night because I had plans to hike Pichincha the following day with Kristin, Meredith, Julie, and Andy.
So Sunday the five of us took the teleferico up the side of Pichincha (sleeping volcano in Quito) and we hiked the rest of the way up to the summit. It was challenging, particularly at first, just adjusting to the altitude. Quito is at about 9000 ft, but even with that advantage, I felt a little nauseous from the altitude. Once we got more adjusted to the lack of oxygen up there and the clouds passed a bit, it was much more enjoyable. The views were spectacular on our way up despite the not so fantastic weather and we all had a good time together. About 2 hours in, it started to get really cloudy and the path up was becoming more blurred. We stopped to rest to reevaluate our situation and we just so happen to come across 2 Americans who work for the state dept down here who were summiting it. They told us we could tag along, and so we did just that. They were really cool and later gave us their email because they do various hikes all the time. When we got to the top, we really couldn’t see a thing it was so cloudy, but we were so happy after rock climbing the last 100meters or so to be at the top we didn’t care too much, I enjoyed possibly the best pb&j sandwich I have ever made in my life at the top. We didn’t stay long because it started to rain a bit. On our way down, after the rocks,
we pretty much skied down the sand, which made things go much quicker.
Alright, so I keep coming and back to this entry. I keep going and then try to stop to write, but this month has really been a ride that’s impossible to get off. So since I summited Pinchincha, things have been less exciting. I’ve been sick for the most part and therefore spent the past 2 weekend in my pajamas and exchanged the alcohol in a glass for the trace amounts in whatever cold medicine I’ve been taking. The “gripe” I’ve been so plagued with has been relentless until just about yesterday when I gave in and went to the doctor. She wrote me a script for a 2.45 drug (by this point I was willing to drink acid if it meant I would be better), and within hours I started feeling better. My body temperature was all sorts of crazy for about 4 days before this. I would go from cold sweats to dripping in sweat from being warm in the matter of minutes. Luckily, this has subsided and I finally feel some sort of strength in my legs. My throat is still pretty dry, but again, I have finally found the road to recovery.
Well, I guess it hasn’t been all bed and teaching…the burdensome life of a volunteer does come with its kicks. Last weekend Friday we had a half day because we had a staff party in the afternoon at La Marin. Of course, since we work for food, we were ousted from the center’s transportation downtown and made our way by bus after a short morning , for me in special ed. Anyway, they had a nice lunch for us, cake, ice cream, and a box of wine on the tables for us. Unfortunately, it takes more than one box to satisfy thirsty volunteers, so the sneakier ones found their way back to the bodega for a little more merrymaking while we played bingo. There was also a short scavenger hunt which I of course partook in. It was a nice party, but the ride home in traffic (normally 45 min) took an hour and a half on a small van-bus built for Ecuadorian sized people. Needless to say, my neck was sore from scrouching a bit since I gave my seat up to an elderly employee.
Saturday was not much of a Saturday in that there was little time for rest. We had to be downtown once again for 10am mass where the 1st graders “gave their hearts to Jesus” and thereafter we handed out the bultos. This all supposedly began because the second graders make their first confession and get a small gift, and the gift part supposedly upset the first graders, thus, they get dressed up, put their face on a heart, and give their heart to Jesus for a gift. It was pretty adorable nonetheless. Afterward, we gave out the large bags filled with the donated goods following. Since I don’t know any of the families at La Marin, I was much more excited to give out the bags at Cotocoallo. One of my bath boys, Richard, knew I had packed his family’s and gave me a big hug the next day when he saw all the stuff I packed for him (pants, nice shoes(he always wears dress shoes and a button down). He said he was going to wear the stuff the next week to show me, which he did. I’m glad he found them useful! Anywho, Jean Pierre was there with his family who I absolutely adore. He insisted that I hold him while this huge production was going on, and therefore got in trouble by Rudulfo when I had to go on stage to get the bags down. He has no sense of fear, this kid, so it didn’t phase him too much.
Sunday was another good day. We were invited by Maria (one of our cooks) to her house for lunch. This was fun because it was not only us, but also her whole family, including her daughter, Ana, and granddaughter, Michele, who are both in my classes, so that was fun. They had chicken, salchipapas, salad (maria knows us ahha, this is not ecua by any standard!), and in true fashion, chocolate cake. This was an extravagant lunch, for sure, for them, and for us too! It was a nice day and they were cooking the food outside on a grill and her house is high enough for a nice view of the city.
In the afternoon I took my bath kids on a paseo (minus one who didn’t show up). Where we went you ask? Well, after my slew of awesome suggestions, most of which included a bit of a trek, the 3 kids decided what they really wanted was Domino’s and KFC. The last time I had domino’s was through bullet proof glass in Brookland at CUA when boli’s was closed, and I have never, EVER had or even been inside a KFC before that. I told that to Richard who wanted to go there since he doesn’t like pizza and he didn’t believe me. It was an experience. The kids were really funny about ordering and eating food, but I made sure that we ordered enough so that they all had a bit to bring home for their family’s, as this is a bit of a treat. Anyway, it was fun.
This past Tuesday was the daycare’s Christmas program. It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life. A lot of my adults and the family’s I know from baths had little ones (4 and under) in the program and wanted me to take pictures of their children, which I was happy to do. There was a nativity reenactment, traditional dancing, dancing, and just adorableness, really. Jean Pierre was deceivingly dressed as an angel. Afterward, all the kids received a gift from these 5 woman who buy them gifts every year. It was a really big deal for them. After when I saw my little man (jean pierre), he had me take off his angel wings, then gave me a big hug and insisted I pick him up as we walked out. His dad started to call for him to leave, but he wouldn’t. I eventually convinced him he had to get down. Before he trotted off when I put him down, he jumped back into my arms and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Really, who needs a boyfriend when you get love like that? I wish I could explain how awesome this kid is in words, or how cute he is, or the sound of his voice when he says your name, but all I can say is that there’s nothing greater than that sound.
In all, this week has been very very long, probably because my mind hasn’t been too busy since we’ve only been minimally working in classes (tests, review, parties, movies, programs, etc), so I have time to let me brain wander off. But we did play soccer in my English class today, so that is always a good time.
Wow, okay, that was exhausting and I’m glad I’m back in real time. So real time tells me it’s December 23nd, 2011. But how can that be? Didn’t 2011 just start? It seems like it. This year has been riddled with events: graduated from college, quit a job for the first time, said goodbye to my friends in DC (with a wicked month long send off!), went to Spain and visited London/Clarissa with Barbara, and moved to Ecuador to volunteer for a year, blind as a bat as to what I was actually getting myself into. Not a bad way to pass the time, I’d say! With everything that has went on this past year, I wish I could say I came out of it at the end with a little more clarity, a little more direction, but this would be completely false. I spend most of my mental free time preoccupied by what’s next. What’s next, what’s next. Damn. Can’t someone just tell me?
One of my closest friends recently asked me how it do it: just up and leave for a program in Ecuador without knowing a soul, with no present, previously known support system, no boyfriend, no family, no friends. To this I gave her my, “well I still have friends, they are just far away, and I’ve never found reason to invest substantial time in a boyfriend” reply. But truthfully, what I do know for sure is how good it feels to be here every day: to hear the sound of 40 different kids shouting hello to you from across the courtyard even when you don’t see them; to feel the unconditional love of a child when they hug you (whether they do it every day or when something special happens); to know that it’s not necessarily what you are teaching your kids in the classroom that matters, but your presence in their lives so they know that someone cares and someone believes that they can succeed; when you’re invited to lunch in the comedor after mass and kids fight over who you are going to sit with; when every kid comes up to you during the sign of peace to shake your hand; when your kids know when you are sad or upset because you miss the normalcy of being at home in the states, and whatever they say to you makes you feel alright; when you buy a cookie for your students just because and they light up like it’s Christmas morning; when your worst student sticks up for you when the rest are acting up; when you able to equalize in your mind the humanity of every person; when language doesn’t matter. These kids….these kids just get to you. Every morning, no matter how hard it is to get myself out of bed, I know I will be smiling, be happy, find some silver lining in whatever happens…and you know what…most of whatever I get upset about doesn’t matter. Everything is so insignificant compared to this list of reasons why I love it here. It’s these kids: they’ve crept their way in.
