So lying underneath the stormy skies, I know the sun will set to rise

A lot has been on my mind lately…let’s see if this makes sense.

Before I begin, I decided to write one good thing and one bad thing about Quito, the Center, or just general stuff. I credit my friend Katlin Hess with her superior blogging abilities with this one!

Like: I like how all of the walls between houses in the majority of the city have an extra protection with broken bottles cemented down. I’ll have to get a picture up of this.

Dislike: I dislike taxis honking or flashing their lights at me for being the gringoist of gringos, and also people starring at me intently when I’m running (knife in sports bra, no ipod, don’t worry!). Though, this does prove an inspiration not to slow down despite the lack of oxygen I haven’t fully adjusted to yet.

Back to business…

The last two weeks have been good ones. Roberto (my nightmare child) has moved out of my special ed class and I am left working with Alex, who even two doctors and a woman with 10 years of experience at the Center can’t handle. I’ve made it my personal challenge to rise to this challenge and teach Alex a thing or two about math, language, English, being in a classroom with other students, and Stevie Wonder. Okay, that was a one-time thing and was part of my reading program with him, but rest assured, I was happy to bring in Superstitious, For Once in my Life, and Isn’t She Lovely on my Ipod. He liked both Stevie Wonder and my Ipod, which he has asked about every day since.

My Spanish is steadily improving and I’ve changed my schedule a bit to accommodate exercise time, lesson planning time, mass time (2x a week), Spanish time, and yes, even a bit of sleep! Though this does require my alarm going off around 615 instead of 715am. We’ll see how long this goes before I crash and am up to my snotty nose in tissues and tea. The weeks are so busy it’s quite hard to be social lunes-viernes which perfectly fits my reserved, loner type personality, so by the weekends, I can handle floating around a bit as a butterfly. Still, no time is really my own, so I still find myself hiding in my shell in moments I would (in the past) normally be the one pouring one more shot before we head out the door, or insisting that everyone comes out. To this I realize that people have a somewhat strange impression of me, but maybe this is me. I haven’t figured out if I am growing up, getting boring, missing my friends and finding everyone else subpar, or whether I still let the fact that I have a hard time letting people in get the best of me. I think this is still left to be discovered. Though I broke this Friday when I decided at the last minute to go out, told myself I wasn’t going to be out late since I had to be walking around the city with 20 adults the next morning at 9am. We went to this stupid hookah bar for the millionth time (I hate this place, but the mojitos are good lol) and everyone was either drunk from happy hour which I didn’t go to because I had baths, or just piss drunk in general. All I wanted to do was dance which is the reason I ever go out here (I know, its funny because this is never my motive in the “estados” and also I have no rhythm haha), but I decided go to against my better judgment and say screw it, and go out dancing when everyone else but one went home. So I did, scored a few free drinks no thanks to me, but to my much smoother friend Meredith, a convo about the bills and giants (in Spanish, to which I defended the bills), frank lloyd wright with a Ecuadorian architect, and an extraordinarily overpriced cab ride home. I also stumbled upon a “German” bar, which failed me in every sense as they only had 3 german beers bottled, and I’m almost positive 2 of them don’t exist in Germany. Anyway, I digress.

Much has been bouncing around in my mind as you may have guessed from the previous paragraph. For whatever reason, I’m stuck in one of these self-discovery moments. Everything around me is suggesting to me that it’s more than what the surface offers and that it can help me figure the purpose or end result of this year for me personally, my students here, and my future (if that makes any semblance of sense). Perhaps my awareness is heightened as all of these things are on my mind, but I feel I am just now starting to see my flaws, my strengths, how I understand myself, and how others see me (for better or worse, of course).  I must say, this is all very daunting, terrifying, and curious to me. I honestly have to put a share of the blame on the new Coldplay song “Paradise” (so excited for the new album I preordered it!) and the fact that two of my good friends are recently engaged and have indirectly made me wonder what it (life) is really all about…like I don’t get enough of that here! I have always expected big things for my life, really. I worked hard in school and in life because of my high expectations, but here, so little of what I spent 4 years obsessing over matters in the same way it used to. Sure, I use my philosophy and theology everyday to stretch my understanding of the world, along with history (we took our adult ed class to the centro historico and this woman cleaning out the Iglesia del Robo (circa 1600s) was explaining more of what they were doing and why to what we had learned in Quito’s leyendas (legends) that week), but no one cares what I wrote my thesis on, what grades I got in class, and what extra curriculars I did, including myself to a small (very small, I still miss school and the library!) extent. For the most part, I’ve spent 23 years living for myself, and somewhat selfishly keeping my guard up, hiding whatever piece I either haven’t discovered of myself or whatever piece I’m scared of, in fear of perhaps something greater than even what I have in mind for the rest of my life. So with this, I will do my best to let go a bit…for my fellow volunteers, for my students and families here in Quito, for my friends at home who have probably seen this all along, for my family who loves me despite this, for whatever higher power I struggle to find, but most importantly for myself.

MMMkay, so besides that, you should know the following:

1.)   

My plans for 5 days in the Amazon fell through for the first weekend in November and I am now going to Cuenca. I am excited about this as it was my second choice, and I think it will be a good time.

2.)    Machu Picchu is a go! I will be in Cuzco on the 26^th of Dec and hike the Inca trail with Barbara, Carolyn, and 2 volunteers for 4 days. We will spend new years eve sunrise overlooking Machu Picchu and hopefully make it back into Cuzco for midnight. I normally hate new years,  but I think I will like this one. Still have to figure out what else we want to do in Peru, but I feel much better knowing my reservation for Machu is a go!

3.)    Mary Kate is officially coming for Easter! She will get to experience some of my classes and then we will do some fun stuff in Quito inside and outside of Quito.

4.)    David (volunteer) and I did a minga this morning (630 left cotacollao, 500 returned). We cleared a piece of land high up in the hills to be used for cultivation. It was exhausting and I got sunburned, but it was nice to spend some time away from the volunteers minus david and with the people. They were so nice (and from La Marin so I don’t know any of them) and one lady paid for my bus fare both ways which was extraordinarily generous (50 cents total incase you were wondering). It was a beautiful day. The man’s house was about 2 hours from ours in the south and it was a long journey, but good to see more of the city too. It’s such a crazy/awesome/beautiful/poor/rich place. I’m still cracking that egg too!

I suppose that is about it. Days begin early and go late, and as Coldplay has so gracefully put it…

When she was just a girl, she expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

so she ran away in her dreams and dreamed of para-para-paradise,

Everytime she closed her eyes.

When she was just a girl, she expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

And the bullets captured her teeth,

 life goes on it gets so heavy,

the wheel breaks the butterfly,

every tear a waterfall,

in the night the stormy night she closed her eyes,

in the night the stormy night away she flies,

 and dreams of para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise.

So lying underneath the stormy skies, I know the sun will set to rise.

So this is what they meant when they said it was hard....

Ah Saturday.....unfortunately I am not recovering from a night of salsa dancing and reggaton....i got a good night's sleep after watching Black Swan with the other volunteers because we had parent-teacher conferences this morning. It went well and I feel a little more confident with my spanish day by day, but when I hear my students speak english, I imagine it is something similar to what I sound like in spanish! Luckily I have a meeting with Rita this afternoon to keep me on track, but I need to spend more time with it.

This week was my first "hard week." My student, Roberto, who asked me several VERY VERY inappropriate questions on Monday, stole not only my kitchen timer for the class, but also the flash drive of the special ed coordinator. Okay, let me break this down, because it kind of took me on an emotional rollercoaster. Monday, he asked me questions and persisted on grazing my boobs and touching my leg and those sorts of things when I was trying to work with him. I had David, one of the volunteers, talk to him (though I had told him a million times why this was inappropriate) about it. It did nothing. I then had to go to Marco Polo, head of colegio, and explain this to him. I was almost in tears as I tried explaining this sensative situation in Spanish. Cultural differences are frustrating sometimes and even when my explanation was coming out of my mouth, I felt silly, but also didnt want to be mildly sexually harassed by a 13yr old for the rest of the year. So Tuesday Marco talked to him. Meanwhile, that night after he talked to Marco Polo, he came to visit me at baths and persisted in just touching my shoulder or knee when I was busy working just to pester me. So clearly this kid has no fear. Wednesday in class, he and the other kid I help, Alex, were complete nightmares. We made them copy the  "regalas" y "compromismos" 5 times instead of letting them go to recess. The next day, Ligia, whose flash drive was later stolen and is head of the program, yelled at them and made them apologize. Again, nothing. They worked a bit better that day, but still, its a struggle to get them to do their work. Friday, Roberto stole the kitchen timer Kristen and I use to keep time for the "Read Naturally Program" we had to pull teeth to implement. We asked the boys where it was and they both denied having it. A minute later, Alex gave up Roberto. Kristen and I had to take him to Madre Cindy (the disciplinary). She told him he couldnt come back to school until she talked to his parents. Meanwhile his parents were there that week before this happened to talk about his general attitude. Such a pisspot. I'm not sure where the problem stands now, but I'll keep you posted.

So Tuesday, after I talked to Marco Polo, I had religion class. Admittedly, I was pretty hot from the situation and kind of took it out on the girls. Karma proves a bitch though, and on my way down the stairs after class with 8 bibles in my hands, I fell down 4 stairs. Some of the boys I see at baths helped me up and didn't even laugh at me. They must have seen I was having a day. I wear my heart on my sleeve (or face) what can I say...

After that, I had adult ed. Sometimes I feel like Mike (the retired philosophy professor who helps us) expects me to run the show of 26 adults even though my spanish is the worst of the 4 other volunteers who help run the class. So I was trying to explain to this woman who came in late that she needed to talk to the Madres regarding her lateness for the 4th day in the row. She couldn't understand a word I was saying because shes catcheuan (spelling completely wrong!), so she doesnt speak spanish, let alone my spanish. She gave me this blank stare and I just burst in tears. I got a hold of myself a few minutes later, but for anyone who knows me, I'm not an emotional person and it takes a lot to make me cry. I think the last time I cried was when I left DC for real. Before that, when my uncle died. So it was embarassing for me. Mike was so nice about it. He told me that if I didn't get upset now and then about the work I'm doing with the people I'm doing it for, something was wrong with me. He then laughed and turn my tears into a broken smile. The show must go on.

So that was my week, more or less. I've been drinking freshly squeezed oj, honey, and a bit of cinnamon (hot) every night for salud (health), and it seems to be working. I'm always a bit sniffily anyway, but considering there were like 6 volunteers down this week with flu and I, queen of getting sick, did not, it must be working. It's also delicious and you should try it!

In general, I think this was the first week I really started to understand what I was doing, what I was giving up (missing my friends and family and cozy life!), how frustrating language barriers and cultural barriers are, how to work with people without preaching at them or putting myself above them, and how sometimes, no matter what you do, you can only change people who want to be changed. Lessons are just starting to seep in, but starting nonetheless.

I feel like this was a debbie downer blog, but I'm feeling good again. Much to do today-need to come up with some ideas for the play my religion class is doing (it's going to be about Papa Noel at the Beach regarding the 6th beatitude)--Their ideas, minus the beatitude, but it should be interesting. I'm going to record it, so I will definitely post it on the blog or on my facebook.

Also, a thousand apologies if this is not well organized or thought out: I downloaded the new Jake Owen CD (took me like 4 hours lol) and I'm listening to a little country lovin.

Missing everyone back home. I also sent out about 40 cards home to be mailed in the states, so if I had your address  I probably mailed you one. here's my address for any surprise snail mail (i'd love it!!)

Centro del Muchacho Trabajador
Julia Sellers
Apartado 17-01-3112
Quito, Ecuador
South America

much love, jams

Long Overdue...

It’s Friday the 23rd of september and I’ve officially been here over a month. Is this real life?

No.

Absolutely not.

But I’m loving it.

Actually, I take that back…sorta. My students are more real than anything I know in the comfort of the United States and more of an economic representation of most kids in the world than the spoiled kids I went to school with in Catholic school for 20 years, but my time here is just a glimpse of that understanding and I know that…so for the next 11 months, I will do my best to continually grapple with the economy, poverty, child labor, and the incredible strength of these people to live, work, play, and grow the way they do everyday.

I digress.

I was inspired to write a post because one of my best friends in the entire world, Katlin Hess, and her hysterical little sister started a blog. Granted, there are two of them so blogging is divided in half, but I still felt the pressure to write and that I had been slacking off. Thanks guys!

While I am writing this I am in my “nivelacion religion” class. The girls had an exam yesterday (I haven’t corrected it yet to see the damage), but today we connected creation, talents, and their future. I’m either a master bullshit artist or actually have a grip of the religion thing by now because day after day, I surprise myself with the material I come up with for class. This same effort also drains most of my energy and time, but it’s getting easier every week. Two new girls joined the class on Wednesday (day before exam) which really stressed me out thinking that I would have to catch them up on 3 weeks of material, but I think I will get them there slowly. They are both really quiet and have no idea what I am saying like the other girls did in the first week or so, but im sure they will get used to my poor Ecuadorian accent. Also note that I am not usually just giving my class work and playing around on my computer. This is what’s happening: we read together the parable in Matthew 25: 14-28 about how 2 of the three men who were given talents by god went out and multiplied them, but the third one dug a hole and buried his. So we talked about the creation story, which we read in the first week of school, how God created all of us in his “image and likeness” and how all things that God created are good. I asked them what their talents were and how they could use their talents now or in their future job or to achieve a certain goal, and they had to draw this.

So naturally, any opportunity to subliminally corrupt these kids when we are not reading the Bible together is to play a little music. They all reggaton which I’m getting into a bit, but Cindy, this one girl who I should probably be annoyed by but I secretly like her a lot, insisted that we listen to Michael Jackson. Luckily, I have the classics and was happy to appease her as the girls drew.

We put the pictures up on the wall around a poster I made that says, “Yo soy inteligente. Yo soy importante. Yo puedo llegar a ser cualquier cosa yo quiero porque Dios me creo,” which translates “I am intelligent. I am important. I can be anything I want to be because God created me.” This was adapted from the book and movie, The Help, from I believe the African American nanny in the story. I haven’t read it, but a lot of the colegio (middleschool-early highschool) volunteers have used this phrase (minus the god part) for their classes. The most important thing for these girls beyond their education with us and is to understand and truly believe that they can have something better if they work hard enough for it. Julie (other volunteer) and I did this in our English class before doing occupation vocabulary and the girls came up with some interesting things: a few clothing designers, clothing store owners, news anchor, breakdancer, movie star, vet, doctor, the people at car dealerships who help you with paperwork, astronomer, bank teller, etc. One of the girls in my religion class told me she wanted to be an “enfermera” or nurse, and I proudly told her of all my awesome friends who are nurses and how great, rewarding, and economically advantageous the field is.

Anyway, things are really good. I’m waiting for my immune system to crash with a cold once again as I can feel my ears and back of my throat a little sore, but I went to bed early last nite and I think I am staying in tonite because I have to be up at 7am to get my Census (I will be counted as part of quitos population!). I’m not looking forward to tomorrow morning because others who have went said it takes a few hours to get through the line….but I want to play futbol! Bah!!!

I’ve been running a few times this week for about 30 minutes and let me tell you, IT IS HARD. Not only because I’m running up hills the entire time which I hate and avoid like the plague at home, but also because of the level of oxygen! THERE IS NONE!!! I’ve been told it takes about 3 months to fully adjust. I’m gona stick with it because I know what an advantage it is for people who like to run to run at elevations, but its hard to fit in everyday. If I get to it 4 times  a week, I will be happy.

Ah, in other news, my “special ed” classes. I probably mentioned I am working with a few boys—alex, alex, and Roberto. They are 13-15ish and started school late so they’ve been put into “special ed” because they can’t keep up in a regular class, except all three of the boys are very capable (when they want to be!) So the boys are fine, but the two women who are in the classroom are completely aweful. First, I’m not entirely sure of their level of education(Maggie and Ligia).  The one claims to be a doctor, but as Madres have told us, if you can pay the money, any idiot can be a doctor. I’m not also sure how whatever degree Ligia has (shes the “head” of this operation) translates to the states, but I’d imagine maybe a masters degree. So these two clowns have insisted for the past few weeks that these three boys are on the same level for reading and math. (falso) They’ve insisted that they’ve tested them accurately (falso). They were tested in JUNE, and their “test” consisted of a series of bull shit questions that I really cant understand what they would show because when I saw them “test” the boys, they basically fed them the answers after they told me not to. They’ve told us that the volunteers are responsible for creating lesson plans for them with a list of 4 objectives. FALSE.  Everyone has told us that we are there to work with them with the plans from them. So these poor 13-15 year old boys are in the same room sitting at kindergarten tables and chairs next to kids that are 7-9. How are they supposed to get out of a classroom and be taught in a setting fit for their age when they are surrounded by little kids in a room with zero organization? Luckily, we’ve all been fighting this hard, but the only people to listen to us are Corry and John, the two retired special ed teachers from WNY who then relay the information to Marco Polo (the man) and the Madres. But there’s a disconnect and the Madres seem to think that we don’t know what we are talking about. TRUE. For the most part, I don’t have the first clue where they need to be or how to get them there. All I know is that something is wrong in the situation I am in, these boys are being held back, and on the path they are on, they are going to be in the kindergarten room for the next 2 years. NOT IF I CAN HELP IT. Oh. Here’s a fun fact. Alex and Roberto weren’t doing their work, so they were blaming one another for the reason they weren’t working, Roberto got pissed, said something nasty to Alex which I didn’t catch, and Alex responded that he was going to “screw” his sister. Mind you, his sister is about 4. AWESOME.

I digress. Things are starting to turn up. Corry and John had a meeting with the powers that be and apparently, William (who has a severe hearing problem and just got hearing aids last year who is 15 and hearing words correctly for the first time…such a good kid), one of the Alex’s, and this other kid (who had a swastika around his neck today….I ALMOST RIPPED IT OFF HIS NECK), are being moved to another program which is specially for boys in their situation. Why they weren’t there to begin with is beyond me, but since they work and have carpentry and whatnot, maybe the morning was the only time they could to it….i’m not sure, but I know this is for the best. We are also going to be starting a program called “Read Naturally” and I’ll be trained on how to do that this weekend so the boys can get their levels up.

So now im left with Roberto, who is obsessed with my love life (err, lack thereof lol), tries to tackle me, has outwardly touched my boobs when im not paying attention, and today was kicking me. He’s a good kid, but obviously a tad hormonal and likes to mess around instead of doing his work. I try to remember that when I want to ring his neck, but this is the same kid I wacked with a notebook. TOUGH LOVE. J

So there’s a bit to chew on for now. I will have to write about my adult ed classes because they are really a trip. I saw Madre Miguel take a picture of me trying to explain what we were doing in class that day, so if I can get my hand on it, I will post it because Im pretty sure she caught me in an action shot.

Stay cool and enjoy the fall weather if its there!! So JEALOUS!!!

Jams jams jams jams 

31 Augusto 2010

I feel like this is one of those, ¨holy crap, what have I gotten myself into,¨kind of moments. Already I have failed keeping a regular log of my thoughts via the internet and with my handy pen, but that is really not the point of this post. we are now a week and a half in and after a week of torment, i recieve my schedule on monday...well kind of. this entire week has been meeting with directors, teachers, heads of programs, etc. i feel i am left with so many unanswered questions as all of my classes are directed by different people and all want things a slightly different way...who came up with this? my only relief is the very real fact that i am not alone in this confusion. i have 15 other people for that. I´m so lost in some respects that I cant even ask the right questions! ah!


Here are some of the things I know: from 8-12 everyday I will be working with special ed students in Cotacollao.The meeting we had with the directors was pretty challenging. They are some of the few people i really have no idea what they are saying, and they were further confusing me by confusing me with the 2 other julies in the program. After digesting the mouthfuls of spanish i tried to chew down, I found out that for the first month or so, i am responsible for very little, as the teachers and directors are sorting out who needs additional help and all those things. Later on, I will work with them to design activities for the students who need extra help...hopefully my espanol is better by then! So, while I was assured in this meeting that I´d have little to do for the first 4 hours of my day, i feel like this is bound to change. just gota go with the flow!

Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays, ive been assigned to the bakery and or learning center. I have to talk to the Madres about this, but I feel if I am allowed time in the bakery, i will definitely introduce Barb Brills pie recipe!!

Wednesdays and Thursdays i will be teaching colegio level three girls. There seems to be just utter chaos in the English dept: which workbook goes with which grade, whether we go off previos lesson plans or by the book, who has what book, why colegio girls and the girls program are doing the same stuff, etc. I worked pretty much all day yesterday on a lesson plan and script for my first day. I thought I had gotten through the hour class when Julie, the girl who is teaching the other half of the level mentioned that the class is an hour and 25 minutes.....ah crap. i resolved this discrepancy this morning and now feel okay for the first day.

4-5pm seems to be my rough spot. why? well after a brief 20 minute meeting with Saul, director of the religion classes who lives in my building, i may or may not have to design an entire cirriculum. he gave little suggestions and ideas other than some workbooks, a silly bible game(kid you not), movies galore, and a bunch of rosaries and religios chotchkies to give away to those who have a ¨buen examen.¨Just looking at the material, i am bored out of my mind and need some serious creativity! My religious ed experience outside of 20 years of religion classes revolves around plays, skits, retreats, songs, etc about moral dilememas... these kids are too young for the heavy stuff. they are just learning about sacraments, moses, the jesuits, and basic jesus stuff! While i have a slight distain for the formalities, traditions, and religious rigamarole of the catholic faith, I refuse to let that get in the way of teaching these kids some values, morals, and lets not forget, have a little fun! ah well, it will be interesting. Saul said he´d give me a ¨planificacion¨ today. when translated, this means ¨family planning¨according to the dictionary i was given by sra. countney in 1999 for most improved student. but in all seriousness, i think hes giving me some more direction today. hes learning english and im scraping by en espanol.

As overloaded as i feel right now, i kind of want this challenge. Its what I came for. Challenge and the ability to adapt and push my limits is what I love and live for. Its why I love travelling and experiencing new things and places even if they make me uncomfortable (see bullfight in madrid). Its why i left a solid job in DC. Its why I had no problem picking up my stuff and travelling far from my creature comforts of home with only my broken spanish to talk me out of a dark alley or a drug raid to come here for a year. Its why I cant wait to overcome these beginning challenges and leave awesome lesson plans for future volunteers.

Last night I read a small treatise called, ¨Contemplation in Action: the Jesuit Way¨to get a better understanding of Jesuit spirituality. It ran through some of the history, why jesuits are or were critisized, how they find a balance between prayer and action, education and¨helping souls,¨poverty and sustainance, tradition and progression. I could literally hear my dad´s voice through all of it as he has more than obsessively praised the work of Jesuit education in his life, my brothers life, and anyone who has had the blessing´¨ to recieve it. I heard his words in my head as I paged through the treatise and felt a deeper appreication for not only why he obsessed over the statue of Peter Canisius and the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception,  but also for the work the Center does and how I play a part in that...at least for this year! Admittedly, had I given more consideration to Jesuit education, I may not be so bitter against the catholic church after CUA as I would rather express my faith through action, not the pope´s dictation. One quote I took with me from the treatise was, ¨Pray as if everything depended on you. Work as if everything depended on God.¨ While I think my religious beliefs stretch beyond the Catholic faith, I think this Ignatian quote is a good place to start....or consider.

anyway, time to get back. keep you updated as things progress.

A few days in!

So I am nearing the end of my first week of orientation. i apologise for my brevity but i am at an internet cafe as our network at the center is down. facebook won´t let me login, but in about 2 weeks i should have more regular internet on a daily basis. i will be getting my computer down here sept 17th so will be more in contact with the other world then!

Today we had our first teaching lesson and tomorrow we will be students to be teachers all day. it´s a bit overwhelming, but a good, practical foundation.

yesterday we were able to play with the kids for a bit and it was so much fun! its like playing with my awesome nieces and nephews. the kids love the gringos and want us to swing them around and all sorts of things. it was kinda exhausting as we are all still gettting used to the altitude, but i felt pretty good running around. today i am a bit sore from 3 children hanging on my neck at once, but that will pass!

well, tengo que estudiar mi espanol! yo se que los ninos van a ser los muestras mejores!

Hola de Quito!

18 days ago I was busy getting ready for this, and now I'm here! I got in last night around 11pm, made I through customs and immigration(they didn't reject me yet!) and was picked up by madre Cindy! Being that I got in so late, I was given a quick tour, shown where the drink water is(still unsure about it lol), unpacked some stuff since I was on a bit of an adrenaline rush, and crawled into my new bed. My accommodations are pretty generous. The center is much bigger than I expected, there's a tv and tons of movies, and there's even wifi for Petes sake!
I am also the only one to come without a laptop or iPad. So even though there is a computer to use for Internet, I'm blogging from my iPod, so I apologize if this entry is all over the place and is more a train of thought than anything logical or well organized as I usually try to do. Ah well, my faithful readers will appreciate my efforts!

This morning I woke up around 7am to use the bathroom-- which I have my own--and I stuck my head out from the curtains. Talk about a room with a view! Not only are the Andes before my eyes, feet away, there's an active volcano up in the peaks! I had no words as I made my first encounter with daytime Quito and can't wait to get to know his place better!

The late morning and early afternoon was spent getting to know some of the voluteers, who are from Washington state to LA to florida to jersey! Everyone seems nice, but this is a total flashback to freshman year of college: small talk, feeling people out, and apples to apples. Ah well, I'm sure it will be fine As the days progress. We are all in he same boat and know no one in he city! We spent the rest of the day exploring the colonial center and later went to a cafe in the bar area of the city, which I learned later From madre city that we were not allowed to go at night anymore nbecause some of he volunteers had problems there last year. Luckily we have a few experienced grigos in the group to find a watering hole!

Anywho, day one went well and perhaps I'll do a deeper blog as I get a better feel for my situation and the people around me. Don't want to prejudge!

17 days!

Well, it's August. This month seemed so far away in April when I left DC, but as I rightfully suspected, it has snuck up on me as another Buffalo-DC-Spain--err, whereever I was this summer has flow by.

August: time to get down to the dirty, cram any Spanish I can in my head, get to all my doctor's appointments and get my shots in, stock up on enough vitamins and iodine tablets to keep my body and water health for at least a few months, FINALLY have my graduation party, train a new puppy, work, babysit, see the occasional friend, get a few pairs of jeans and some basic clothing, become extremely anxious, freak out at people, cry, freak out again, scream something about hating the States while drunkenly throwing my blackberry at a wall (xxoo gabs and becca!), get it all out, and get on an 8 hr flight to Quito anyway....you see why I might be kinda crazed in the next 17 days?

17 days. WOW. In 17 days I will be so far from DC, so far from Buffalo, so far from the States I won't know what to do with myself. I'm picturing myself in my new situation: I'll be anxious and nervous I'm offending someone; I'll stumble through sentences in Spanish and hope that someone understands me, I'll feel guilty about having any excessive comforts: vitamins, iodine supplements, clif bars, cipero (all are really for my own good if you know my insides!) But to have these things so convenient to me while I serve people who don't even consider any of these things necessary is strange to me. Does that make sense? Let's not talk about my Ipod which may or may not be coming down with Forrest Gump and/or Muppets Christmas Carol (favorite movies...ever!). Maybe I'll come to terms with this huge wealthy discrepancy, but I really don't think I will. I've been told to accept it, and love anyway. 'This is what I know and that is what they know' kinda deal. I hope I have that strength somewhere inside. But in this case, "A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water." Eleanor knew all about hot water: war, economic depression, having a lying/cheating husband with a chronic illness, and wearing a smile through it all? Now there's conviction, passion, and a love for something bigger than herself.


So that's where I am right now. I have butterflies and complete confidence; ignorance and openness. We'll see where my unsettled mind and heart are as time progresses. As the great George Michael one said, "I gotta have faith, faith, faith."